circushands

HAPPY LANDING

2012-02-04T00:04:00.002Z

http://about.me/criticalbest

http://flavors.me/criticalbest

Have at it

2011 - Best Music

2011-12-30T17:54:00.002Z

It's that time of year again

Not had a chance to listen to as much as usual this year, it's been a hectic one. Here's what I've liked, though

Best of 2011

Rustie - Glass Swords
High Park - All Day
Water Borders - Harbored Mantras
Amon Tobin - ISAM
Balam Acab - Wander / Wonder
Zomby - Dedication
Xander Harris - Urban Gothic
GusGus - Arabian Horse
GL▲SS †33†H / ℑ⊇≥◊≤⊆ℜ - Split
Thundercat - The Golden Age Of Apocalypse
Prurient - Bermuda Drain
Patten - GLAQJO XAACSSO
Nero - Welcome Reality
Chilly Gonzales - The Unspeakable
Mark Fell - Manitutshu
Hype Williams - One Nation
Hudson Mohawke - Satin Panthers
Holy Other - With U
Fed. - Lion Conversion
Cut Hands - Afro Noise, Vol. 1
The Caretaker - An empty bliss beyond this World
Cex - Tiny Creature
The Captain Kirk On LSD Experience - Eternal Sauerkraut Warmachine
Alva Noto - Univrs
The Weeknd - Echoes of Silence
Clotaire 1er - We Are Bad Mother Fuckers

Tune of the year

Sabrepulse - Close To Me

http://youtu.be/YIC1aK6CleE

That's us for another year - be excellent to each other, y'all

Here's the links to previous years charts:

2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003

BOOK YOUR FACE

2011-12-30T17:22:00.001Z

Critical Best, now available on Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/criticalbest

A Silent Swaying Breath

2011-11-02T00:00:00.000Z

Hey, I did some audio textures for this:

http://music.audiogourmet.co.uk/album/a-silent-swaying-breath

All profits go towards folks affected by the summer UK riots / community projects.

It's nice and ambient - have a listen if you like that sort of thing. Bonus points if you can identify anything of mine...

BURNING PRISMA

2011-09-14T20:43:00.004+01:00

I had mentioned previously that I'd been collaborating on some music with a mate of mine. Well, we've just unleashed a couple of tracks into the wild, and submitted them to Bleep's 'Filtered' competion. We're going to releasing stuff under the name 'Burning Prisma'

You can listen to the 2 tracks here:

Defectors - http://soundcloud.com/burningprisma/defectors

Extrapolated Message - http://soundcloud.com/burningprisma/extrapolated-message

Have a listen, and see what you think. We'll be doing a proper release of our stuff at some point, but work continues at the moment

A NICE CHEERY MIX

2011-08-20T19:14:00.002+01:00

A coupla weeks ago, I picked up a load of new vinyl. Had a play on the decks today, and thought I'd do a "nice cheery mix" since the sun's come back out. Unfortunately (or fortunately, if you want to look at it a different way), it turned out pretty much the opposite of cheery. There's some nasty hardcore and breakcore on there (the DJ Floorclearer track is a particular belter).

You can stream and download it here - http://soundcloud.com/nolikecrumbs/a-nice-cheery-mix

Tracklist:

Team Doyobi - Skylight Red Omega
DJ Balli - Cutting The Throat of a Boyscout
LFO Demon - My Rotten Body
DJ Producer - Obituary
DJ Floorclearer - Strangle The Giant Elephant
Duran Duran Duran - Face Blast
Danny C - Scrawny

Enjoy!

'"Test 01'"

2011-08-13T00:45:00.003+01:00

SO, my last.fm page has a track on it, that I have no recollection of making:

http://www.last.fm/music/Critical+Best/_/Test+01

It's called 'Test 01', and it's over 40 minutes long. Evidently, 7 people have listened to it, some of them multiple times.

Does anyone have it? Seriously, it's not on any of my hard drives, and I really don't remember making a 40 minute track...

COLLAB

2011-07-29T23:46:00.003+01:00

It's been pretty quiet at Circus Hands towers with regards to blog worthy items - been planning my wedding, and getting stuck in at work. But I have still found time, over the last 6 months, to colloborate with a good friend of mine on some music type stuff. It's shaping up rather nicely - so I will keep you all updated when things progress to a listenable state.

One more thing - there's now a mobile adapted version of this page, for viewing on your phone an' that. It should all work automatically if you you check this on for your phone I think

Ta ra

CRITICALBEST.CO.UK

2011-05-15T23:30:00.001+01:00

Oh hey, looky here:

criticalbest.co.uk

I'll be doing some proper stuff with it shortly, hopefully.

Got the laptop back, fixed - it's all good. Working on some new stuff as we speak...

CATASTROPHIC HDD FAILURE

2011-03-13T15:09:00.002Z

Well, in a severe case of deja vu, I must report that my laptop hard disk is currently suffering a catastrophic failure.

Bad news
-It was only 3 months old
-The drive is failing so bad it failed to image, meaning I will need to re-install everything when I get it replaced =S
-I was actually in the midst of making new music - a collaboration with a very good friend. And we were making some fine progress

Good news
-It's still under warranty, so I'm sending it back to get the drive replaced tomorrow
-Even though the imaging failed, I managed to back everything up. Phew
-I've got this spare Ubuntu laptop, which is chugging along nicely

Fucking nightmare, though. I've got some software running under Wine on this laptop, so I may be able to make some daft noises, at least, while I get all this shit sorted out

Carry on!

Cakebuilder - Book of the Dead

2011-03-01T21:34:00.003Z

I could not find a decent copy of this on Youtube, so chucked it up myself:

The best breakcore tune that samples Evil Dead? I think so...

WOLVODS on Last.fm

2011-01-16T17:34:00.002Z

Well, my new EP, WOLVODS, is up for streaming and download on Last.fm now:

You can get it here - http://www.last.fm/music/Critical+Best/WOLVODS

(It's still on Bandcamp, too - http://criticalbest.bandcamp.com/album/wolvods)

It's been described as

"... the sound of abandoned machines - in the process of corroding and seizing-up, mourning the loss of their masters ... and their place in society.... Desperately sending clunky transmissions, trying to communicate their mute fate."

Enjoy!

Best music of 2010

2011-01-07T00:29:00.010Z

2010 is over. We are well on our journey towards the glittering singularity of the future. There was some cracking stuff released last year, a selection of which. is layed out below. Not really in any order, though the first 4 or 5 are definitely in the right place...

Best of 2010

Umberto - Prophecy Of The Black Widow
Crookers - Tons Of Friends
Autre Nu Veut - Autre Nu Veut
Ceephax Acid Crew - United Acid Emirates
Zola Jesus - Stridulum II
Altar Eagle - Mechanical Gardens
Fed. - Mashup Business
Afrirampo - We Are Uchu No Ko
Lindstrøm and Christabelle - Real Life Is No Cool
Mount Kimbie - Crooks & Lovers
Sylvain Chauveau - Singular Forms (Sometimes Repeated)
Lil B - Rain in England
Holy Fuck - Latin
Flying Lotus - Cosmogramma
Sun City Girls - Funeral mariachi
Mark Van Hoen - Where Is The Truth
Xiu Xiu - Dear God, I Hate Myself
Souvenir's Young America - The Name Of The Snake
Gill Scott-Heron - I'm New Here
Sam Spence - Sounds
Kid606 - Songs About Fucking Steve Albini
The Black Dog - Music For Real Airports
How to Dress Well - Love Remains
Balam Acab - See Birds

And according to Last.fm, my most played tracks last year were:

1. Crookers – Have Mercy ft. Carrie Wilds
2. Crookers – Embrace The Martian ft. KiD CuDi
3. Eraplee Noisewall Orchestra – Desperation Speaks
4. Xiu Xiu – Dear God, I Hate Myself
5. Sabrepulse – I Heart Voltage

Here's the links to previous years charts, if you wish to make me for previous musical indiscretions or whatnot:

2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003

Ciao, and Happy New Year

HAPPYXMAS

2010-12-22T01:08:00.001Z

Might not get a chance to update for the Christmas hols - have a good one, folks

CREATION

2010-11-29T22:28:00.002Z

Regular viewers should be aware of the trials and tribulations I've been through with my laptop, Percy (Laptop Bastard). He died a few years ago, very nearly taking my completed second (I think it was that one) album with him. He was kindly patched up by a friend, to become Percy Laptop Bastard 2.0, and served me well for a time.

About a year ago, I noticed he started to get slow and sluggish, and generally past his prime, so recently I got a new one. A beast. It's taken me a month or so, but I've got it all tricked the fuck out, and now I'm rocking Reason (with a nice wee Korg control interface) for music, and Premier (and a proper pro transcoder) for videos, as well as the other Windows 7 niceness.

So I guess, what I'm getting at, is - I now have some decent kit, so in theory, my creative output should be decent-er.

Prepare for war

(Addendum - the old laptop has been freshened with the new Ubuntu. He's now 'Percy Laptop Bastard 3.0', and I have no idea what to do with him)

New EP - WOLVODS - out now

2010-11-23T21:11:00.003Z

My new EP, WOLVODS, is up for streaming and download on Bandcamp, now

All I ask for in return for the free download is your email address - and I won't send you any shite. Promise!

Critical Best - WOLVODS - Released 21 November 2011

Further download locations coming soon...

New Look

2010-11-16T23:23:00.002Z

I'd been using that old template for about 5 years, so thought I would futurise it up a bit. There's some links to my other internet places now, too

In other news - new EP is finished. Release scheduled before the end of the year. BAM

Got a new, decent laptop, and got Reason 4 humming along nicely on it, with my wee Korg Nano Kontrol and some other bits an' that, so once the new album's out I'm gonny start making some shiny new stuff

Wee Sunday mix

2010-09-21T22:27:00.001+01:00

Marc'o van Bastard - Sunday Mix by nolikecrumbs

Wee short mix done on a Sunday. Got some old skool jungle, DJ Scotch Egg, Team Doyobi, etc..

There is a chance this might be interesting...

2010-09-09T00:11:00.001+01:00

http://paper.li/nolikecrumbs

WOLVODS

2010-08-17T21:58:00.002+01:00

I've put a new track up on WTFMusic.org

It's called 'Wolvods' and it's pretty loud and droney. See what you think:

http://wtfmusic.org/#music/26/978

(And much love to the folks at WTF Music)

A cloud? With SOUND?

2010-08-16T23:58:00.002+01:00

I've put those 2 breakcore mixes I done yonks ago up on Soundcloud:

http://soundcloud.com/nolikecrumbs

One day, I hope to actually do another mix. I ain't got the time just now. Pity - I have some stonking vinyl I picked up in the last 6 months or so.

Still working on the new EP - will have some news on that this week - a teaser track

Love and hugs

Critical Best Review on WTFMusic.org

2010-07-13T22:03:00.006+01:00

The very lovely and awesome people over at http://wtfmusic.org have reviewed my second album, 'Enneract'. Here it is in its entirety:

"Time is something everyone is obsessed with either consciously or subconsciously. Art is full of great examples of this infatuation. Let’s look at the opening couplet from Lonnie Johnson’s nineteen forty-seven hit ‘Tomorrow Night’: ‘Tomorrow night, will you remember what you said tonight? Tomorrow night, will all the thrills be gone?’ Now think about the complexity around the sense of time Johnson uses in this couplet. He is asking in the present if in the future if his sweetheart will remember how she feels in the present. Yeah – if only modern pop songs could provoke such mind swirling thoughts. Not only does Critical Best hint and acknowledge the strength of time on the human psyche he marries and courts it proudly within his LP ‘Enneract’.

That sense of shifting time is a pinning point in this album and it often boils over on certain tracks. Let’s look at ‘Arundel Tomb’. The lyrics in this piece are taken from Philip Larkin’s poem ‘An Arundel Tomb’. The poem tells us of time passing over tombs. Now the vocal in the track is obscured by effects throughout but the last line is brought to the forefront at the end of the piece: ‘What will survive of us is love.’ Heavy stuff for an album that is ninety nine percent instrumental. That is the only clear thing Critical Best wanted to communicate to us in the English language the whole thirty six minutes and thirty seven seconds of his musical discourse. So he is telling us that when time has eliminated our memories all that remains is love.
The album actually starts with time manipulation. Oh no what is this shit is the first thing that comes to mind when it starts? ‘Phossy Jaw’ commences and I find myself in a Berlin techno bar surrounded by German weightlifters wearing homoerotic leather lederhosen. Get me out of here. Then I notice why I came here. One minute thirty into the first track Critical Best manipulates the sound and slows the tempo of the track and all comfort of sense of place and time evaporates and we are given an audio vision of a shemale breast feeding an albino giraffe. Yeah – what the fuck? I swear to God that sums up exactly what happens in this track. Then a waitress wearing a Barrack Obama mask comes round and offers me some strange looking pills. It can’t get any worse – I down the whole lot.

The pills kick in – I see De Niro in the opium den scene from ‘Once upon a time in America’. He asks me what I’m doing here. I ask him the same thing. We smile and zone out listening to ‘Manxome’. Time comes for me to leave – I ask for my coat. Throughout the album you feel an uneasy sense of being here before. The audio transports you back in time to personal memories and scenes in movies. In the title track on the album a memory of standing in a doorway in New York avoiding the rain is provoked. The thing is I have never been to New York. The visual strength of these pieces is so strong that when it is juxtaposed with the consciousness of time it is a wicked heady combination.

Tomorrow night, will you remember what you said tonight?
Tomorrow night, will all the thrills be gone?

Tomorrow night, will it be just another memory?
Or just another lovely song that's in my heart to linger on?

- The Importance Of Birds"

Much love guys. Much love

Check out WTFMusic @ http://wtfmusic.org and http://wtfmusicorg.blogspot.com, they really know their stuff

6 months of song

2010-06-16T00:41:00.009+01:00

So yeah we're six months further into the future. Here's the musical stuff that came out this year, that I've been feeling at this halfway juncture of 2010 (in no real order, apart from the first three, really):

Crookers - Tons Of Friends
Mark Van Hoen - Where Is The Truth
Lindstrøm and Christabelle - Real Life Is No Cool
Xiu Xiu - Dear God, I Hate Myself
Sylvain Chauveau - Singular Forms (Sometimes Repeated)
Souvenir's Young America - The Name Of The Snake
Sam Spence - Sounds
Sage francis - Li(f)e
RJD2 - The Colossus
Omar Souleyman - Jazeera Nights
Lali Puna - Our Inventions
Kid606 - Songs About Fucking Steve Albini
Holy Fuck - Latin
Flying Lotus - Cosmogramma
The Black Dog - Music For Real Airports

And here's a wordle of everything I've been listening to this year, for your delectation:

Click that pic to see it bigger

Job job

BRIGANDRY

2010-05-25T21:31:00.004+01:00

Made a new wee video for a track I'm working on for the new album. You can see it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9JtUpnDkj4

Or by clicking the funky bar at the bottom of your screen

Archive footage taken from here - http://www.bfi.org.uk/creativearchive/

Bosh

Candbamp

2010-04-23T00:49:00.002+01:00

Yo yo yo, just a quick one

Got all my music up on Bandcamp now - free downloads of full album or single MP3s, whatever takes your fancy

New album will be up on there when it's finished - in addition to some other attack vector. Might be a wee while, though - what with work, the lovely London weather, the forthcoming election and the VOLCANIC DOOM CLOUD, I've not had much time to sit and decompress and bang some choons out. Anyway, that link:

http://criticalbest.bandcamp.com/

(Fuck me I need a proper logo, don't I?)

Fill yer boots

Musings

2010-04-03T02:10:00.002+01:00

So, looking at my Archive.org download numbers, there have been just under 500 downloads of my work from there. How fuckin mental is that? Factoring in the other places you can nab my stuff from, and the CDs I done which are floating about, there has got to be quite a few people who have heard some of my music.

It's kinda bizarre

Enneract on Last.fm

2010-03-02T22:29:00.001Z

Not sure if I mentioned it before, but you can nab Enneract from Last.fm now:

http://www.last.fm/music/Critical+Best/Enneract

Thanks to TRASHFUCK once again =)

2009 in musical form

2009-12-17T22:49:00.010Z

I was thinking about this the other day, and couldn't really remember buying much new music this year. I knew I'd been listening to a lot of stuff, but for some reason thought it was all old. A proper digging session revealed, though, that I nabbed a shit load of stuff this year. Some of it was utterly woeful, but the list you see below are the proper gems of 2009 as far as I'm concerned

Best of 2009

(in a sorta vague order)

Nero's Day at Disneyland - From Rotting Fantasylands
Telepathe - Dance Mother
Kid606 - Shout At The Döner
Clark - Totems Flare
Major Lazer - Guns Don't Kill People... Lazers Do
Annoying Ringtone - Club Jumping
Bizzy B - Retrospective
DJ /rupture and Andy Moor - Patches
Loren Connors - The Curse Of Midnight Mary
Fuck Buttons - Tarot Sport
Divtech - Compact Reality Refuse
Hudson Mohawke - Butter
Soundmurderer - Toned Down
Shitmat - One Foot In The Rave
Raekwon - Only Built 4 Cuban Linx... Pt. II
Harmonic 313 - When Machines Exceed Human Intelligence
Monster Zoku Onsomb! - Earth Eaters
The Fly Girlz - Da'Brats From Da'Ville
Belladonnakillz - Sorry Try Again
Throbbing Gristle - Gristleism

Best Re-issue

The Vampires of Dartmoor - Dance Of The Vampires

Tune of the year 2009

David Guetta featuring Akon - Sexy Bitch

Almost but not quite...

Venetian Snares - Horsey Noises (decent-but-not-amazing EP; worth it just for the line "I have drawn you a picture of a giraffe fucking an elephant, notice how his moustache looks just like mine")

Last 6 months of 2009 listening in Wordle form

(click for big)

So that was 2009. Here's the links to previous years charts, if you are that way inclined:

2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003

Laters gaters

FUCKN XBOX

2009-11-16T01:03:00.001Z

E74 error again. Jesus. Why do you hate me Bill Gates?

HAPPY HALLOWE'EN!!!

2009-11-01T00:44:00.000Z

A few years ago I laid a track from Gershon Kingsley's 'Ghostly Sounds' LP over one of Nurse With Wound's 'Rat Tapes' tracks. It worked out rather well.

I decided to upload it this Hallowe'en, but rather than just chuck it up without visuals, I downloaded a clip from the BFI, and mucked about with it a wee bit.

HAPPY HALLOWE'EN!

Punchy McGee

2009-10-29T22:44:00.002Z

A video of my recent successes on Fight Night Round 4

Aqua Nomad

2009-10-29T22:40:00.001Z

Actually - I do have a bit of an update. One of my best mates is giving up the corporate rat race and taking to the canals on a long boat!

You can follow his journey here - http://aquanomad.blogspot.c om

Updatesss

2009-10-29T22:36:00.002Z

Alas - updates have been spotty. Even spottier than usual. I was promoted in work recently, so I am quite literally knackered all the time. Too knackered to make music, most of the time, and definitely too knackered to update this. I am still working on music, though at a much slower rate than before. There is a chance I may have a couple of new tracks done by the end of the year, but I'm not sure when or if they'll be released.

Yeah, that's about it. Happy Halloween

Enneract - proper release on TRASHFUCK

2009-08-26T21:57:00.003+01:00

Shit - forgot to post this here. Durrrr

____

So, the lovely lovely folks at TRASHFUCK NET / Records (myspace.com/trashfucknet) have released my second album.

You can get it here -

http://www.archive.org/details.php?identifier=TFN213

Critical Best

Enneract

1,1 Phossy Jaw (featuring Marc'o van Bastard)

1,2 Imprecise Concept

2 Manxome

3 Enneract

4 Laplace's Demon

5 Punch Drunk Crunk

6 Booooooooomblastandruin

7 Arundel Tomb

8 Trevor Brown Don't Paint My Child

9 The Last Wasp of Summer

10 Gnostic Mass

11 When Logic Collapses into Ghosts and Shadow

All pieces and artwork created by Marc Lee Andrew in 2007 & 2008

Lyrics on 'Arundel Tomb' are taken from the poem, "An Arundel Tomb" by Philip Larkin

Much love and thanks to RedSK @ TRASHFUCK

Hope you like it

(I am so watching the shit out of the Running Man right now)

participate in all-night techno rave dance party

2009-07-21T22:23:00.002+01:00

New mix up:

Marc'o van Bastard - participate in all-night techno rave dance party

http://www.mediafire.com/?jvjoqmdxnuz

1>> Kid606 - Good Times
2>> Sarantis - Badman Dub
3>> Bloodclaat Gangsta Youth - Kill Or Be Killed (Panacea Remix)
4>> Shitmat - Clash And Carry (Old Socks Remix)
5>> Bizzy B - Bless This Sound (feat. Equinox and TDK)
6>> Istari Lasterfahrer - Good Vibes And A Broken Nose
7>> Bong-Ra - Varkenslachter
8>> Ladyscraper - Bleeding From The Butt
9>> Shitmat - Loveheart Trilogy
10> Droon - Cripplefight
11> Q-Tex - The Power Of Love (Jon Campbell Remix)

Cheers

Straight Heet

2009-07-11T11:39:00.003+01:00

Hello. I found a wee short (~20 min) mix / podcast of vinyl only Telepathe tracks I done a while ago, so I thought I'd chuck it up:

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=451fbcfa3256e552aaca48175
a79d1c3f9a7e8bd395ecd1fb8eada0a1ae8665a

Actually, shit - some of them have been put on CD since I done this. Oh well

REEEEEE-LEASE

2009-07-02T21:58:00.000+01:00

CRITICAL BEST - STUTTER. REFORM. BLESS

http://www.archive.org/details/scun004

STUTTER. REFORM. BLESS

2009-06-05T22:09:00.003+01:00

OK peeps, in the dull ache between me half releasing my second album, and actually getting it released, I've put together an EP of sorts. It's an odd beast, in that it started out as an attempt to make 'live trance noise', but after recording some bits and bobs, I felt the need to go in and post process it after the fact. And I'm not sure the worlds of trance and noise really needed to be melded, either, but there you go.

So all of the tracks are short experimental dalliances, most of which are what I would consider 'Trance Noise'. There's also some fucked up vocals in there, and a harmonica, at one point. All tracks were pretty much, recorded live, and then run through the mill.

I'd say, 'enjoy', but this is very short, and kind of daft, so you may not. It's on Mediafire at the moment, but it will get a proper Scunnered release.

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?mhmmaf3iqzi

Shit...

2009-05-25T16:48:00.001+01:00

...I should probably have mentioned - the pre-release on Last.fm was for a short time only. It'll be getting its proper release soon.

More on that, and more stuff later

New Album Pre-release

2009-03-28T19:08:00.003Z

So, I've put my new album up for super duper pre-release download on Last.fm:

Critical Best
Enneract

1,1 Phossy Jaw (featuring Marc'o van Bastard)
1,2 Imprecise Concept
2 Manxome
3 Enneract
4 Laplace's Demon
5 Punch Drunk Crunk
6 Booooooooomblastandruin
7 Arundel Tomb
8 Trevor Brown Don't Paint My Child
9 The Last Wasp of Summer
10 Gnostic Mass
11 When Logic Collapses into Ghosts and Shadow

All pieces and artwork created by Marc Lee Andrew in 2007 & 2008
Lyrics on 'Arundel Tomb' are taken from the poem, "An Arundel Tomb" by Philip Larkin

You can listen to it, or download it from here - http://www.last.fm/music/Critical+Best/Enneract

Enjoy my lovely peeps

my head is full of sodden cotton wool

2009-01-27T16:14:00.002Z

why does everyone seem to be ill this year?

it's utterly mental

blaaaaaargh

2008 in sound and fury

2009-01-07T15:39:00.012Z

2008 was a good year. Many things were done, laughs were had, and music was made. I didn't buy as much music as I'd liked to have, but I heard some decent stuff nonetheless. With that in mind, I have compiled a list of music I enjoyed in the year of our Lord, two thousand and eight. Behold:

2008's Best Music

(in no particular order, really)

Tobacco - Fucked Up Friends
The Stranger - Bleaklow
Cardopusher - Unity Means Power
Torche - Meanderthal
The Teknoist - ...Like a Hurricane Made of Zombies
Blevin Blectum - Gular Flutter
Sickboy - Time To Play
The Caretaker - Persistent Repetition Of Phrases
The Boats - Faulty Toned Radio
Errors - It's Not Something But it is Like Whatever
Sir Vixx - Breakcore Is Another Word For Loser
Moya - Die Hard
Venetian Snares - Detrimentalist
Clark - Turning Dragon
Paavoharju - Laulu Laakson Kukista
DJ Scotch Egg - Drumized
Portishead - Third
Mrs Jynx - The Standoffish Cat
God is an Astronaut - God is an Astronaut
Brael & Tokyo Bloodworm - Living Language
Blue Sky Black Death - Late Night Cinema
Eraplee Noisewall Orchestra - Sigma God Metal
Xiu Xiu - Women As Lovers

Almost but not quite...

Last Step - 1961
The Bug - London Zoo (I seriously can't believe the Wire gave this best of album of the year. It's so uneven - about half is actually worth listening to)
Arthur Russel - Love Is Overtaking Me
Autechre - Quaristice (I dunno - Autechre are starting to really annoy me for some reason. And Squarepusher)

Best Re-issue

The John Baker Tapes

As an unabashed BBC Radiophonic Workshop fanboy, seeing any of their work getting re-issues always brings a warm glow to my heart. If it wasn't for pioneers like John Baker and Delia Derbyshire, practically none of the music I enjoy would exist today

Best 12 inch

Flying Lotus - Shhh!

Fucking heavy remixes from Flying Lotus - RJD2, Mr Oizo, Dilla and Nelly Furtado take an absolute kicking. Noice

Best mixes

DJ Cut Hands - AFRONOISE 1

Best collection of noise I've heard in quite some time. Essential

The Gaslamp Killer - i spit on your grave

Utterly sick, heavy and funky. Get on it

Tune of the year 2008

Telepathe - Chromes on it

This track is just phenomenal. When Telepathe's debut album drops in 2009, they are going to be bigger than God.

So that was 2008. Here's the last few end of year lists for your perusal:

2007
2006
2005
2004
2003

Laters gaters

This & That

2008-12-18T16:26:00.000Z

Hello folks,

As mentioned before, as a pre-amble before my second full length album is released, I've decided to put out a wee EP, with a few covers, remixes and other unreleased stuff.

It's called 'This And That', and it's released on Scunnered Records [scun003]:

http://www.archive.org/details/CriticalBest-ThisAndThatscun003

Tracklisting is as follows:

1.Critical Best - Aids Wolf Eyes
[Unused track from the Meconium Sessions]

2.Combat Tone - Br file ext 4 (Critical Best Post-core-core Remix)
[Remix of my good friend, Combat Tone]

3.Critical Best - Dead Techno
[Originally created for Unicorn Zoo's '5 Seconds Compilation', which has since been cancelled]

4.Critical Best - You Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will
[Cover of Bright Eyes' 'You Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will']

5.Critical Best - Children
[Cover of Robert Miles' 'Children']

6.DJ Shadow - Organ Donor (Critical Best's Proper Fucked Too Fucked To Care Remix)
[Remix of DJ Shadow]

Hope you all enjoy

New album will be out very very soon - I'll keep you updated

Cheers

Marc AKA Critical Best

Woop woop

2008-11-25T14:00:00.002Z

Yo yo yo, the new Critical Best album is pretty much done and dusted, and should be released, all going well, before the end of 2008.

How do you like them fucking apples, eh?

I may release some other bits and pieces, too, as a kind of 'Rarities, Covers and Remixes' EP, so I can start 2009 with a fresh slate. FRESH.

And look out for one or two Marc'o van Bastard remixes, too. In a chilled out stylee.

FRESSSHHH

Statutory Rave

2008-10-14T10:40:00.001+01:00

In honour of going to Bangface for my birthday last week, and getting the laptop working and being able to record from the the decks, I knocked together this mix:

It's Happening Again

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1OARN6VK

01 Parts & Labor - Holiday's Over
02 Herrmutt Lobby - Hazebola Bassline
03 The Bug ft. Warrior Queen - Poison Dart (Skream Remix)
04 Totally Normal - Grind Your Grime
05 Nailbomb Cults - Cthulhu Rising
06 Droon - Cripplefight (Duran Duran Duran Remix)
07 Unitus - The Dry Hour of Geography (Electromeca Remix)
08 Rotator - Come Get Some
09 Bong-Ra - Coke Sniffah
10 CAKEBUILDER - Necron The Hell God
11 FFF - Kickahole in the Speaker
12 Istari Lasterfahrer - Bloodclaat Tune
13 DJ Floorclearer - Strangle the Giant Elephant
14 Duran Duran Duran - Size Queen
15 ACRNYM - Owner

It's pretty straightforward, hope you enjoy it =)

THIS IS THE NEWS

2008-10-03T11:45:00.001+01:00

Hello peeps,

Percy Laptop Bastard is back, and fixed. Most of the tracks and bits & pieces were recovered, so everything should be cool, if a little later than planned.

The album will probably be shorter now, though, as all this time to ponder has made me seriously consider scrapping a few of the tracks. And I've only got one intact track of the proposed covers & remixes EP I was hoping to do, so I don't think we'll see that for a good while yet.

There's a new track up on the Myspace player, 'Laplace's Demon', as well as a tiny sneak preview of the Enneract album cover - myspace.com/criticalbest

There's also another dead pigeon over there --->
if you're that way inclined

Enjoy

Steve Buscemi touched my face once

2008-09-16T10:49:00.004+01:00

Still in laptop limbo. Probably won't get anything done until the end of the year, as far as new music goes.

And it looks like I've lost the main files for the new album, and am only left with the .WAVs and .MP3s. So, I will probably just release it as is.

If anyone knows of a decent net label that will release it for free, gimme a shout. I know of a good few who I can go to, but it's always nice to have a choice.

Made this out of sheer boredom, enjoy:

We're talking C.A.T.A.S.T.R.O.P.H.E

2008-07-21T09:04:00.001+01:00

So, my laptop has died a horrible death

There's a good chance I've irretrievably lost a few new Critical Best tracks, and some other bits and pieces, which is pretty shit.

I'm going to remove the hard drive this week, and try and nab the data off it. If this works, we should be all okay. If it doesn't, I am going to cry like a little bitch.

In addition to the music, there was all my dead pigeon photos, too - so that blog will need to be on hiatus for a wee while.

More news as the story develops

UPDATE

2008-07-02T19:59:00.001+01:00

Just updated http://deadinthestreet.blogspot.com/ after a wee break. Was on holiday, and all that jazz

I might chuck some holiday pics up here soon, it was well ace in Sri Lanka

In other news, I'm working on some more tracks, not for my album, but for a wee remixes and covers EP I've just had the notion to put together

Late-arz

ONLY REAL COWBOYS READ THE BIBLE

2008-05-15T16:15:00.005+01:00

I have a new MP3 out - Critical Best's second release, 'ONLY REAL COWBOYS READ THE BIBLE'. It's a 13 minute noise soundscape inspired by the harsh violence of the frontier lands of the 1800s. This year I've been really into 'cowboy things' (Blood Meridian, Deadwood, No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood, The Proposition, etcetera) and the utter mindless brutality, and complete unglamouressness of life back then really made an impression on me. It all kind of came to head while putting this track together. Brutal, unrelenting, then sparse, windswept, pregnant with the anticipation of the danger to come.

Released on Scunnered Records [scun002], and available for download here:

http://www.archive.org/details/CriticalBest-ONLYREALCOWBOYSREADTHEBIBLEscun002

You can also hear it on the Scunnered Records Myspace - http://www.myspace.com/scunneredrecords

And you can both download it and listen to it at Last.fm - http://www.last.fm/music/Critical+Best/
ONLY+REAL+COWBOYS+READ+THE+BIBLE

Please get in touch if you have anything good or bad to say about it.

Cheers for the support

FOUND DEAD IN THE STREET

2008-05-08T10:24:00.001+01:00

Hello there,

Here's my new blog, with some pictures I've taken of dead animals, found in the street:

http://deadinthestreet.blogspot.com/

A new picture will be posted every Monday.

If you have any you've taken yourself, gimme a shout and I'll put them up. With full credit, of course

Cheers

61

2008-04-17T16:54:00.000+01:00

Dunno how many of you use http://www.thesixtyone.com/, but I now have a page on there:

http://www.thesixtyone.com/jinginakipunxxx/collection/all/

Where you can go and listen to 3 of my tracks, and bump them if you wish. There's some good music on that site if you can be bothered to go looking

Laters gaters

humour

2008-04-10T16:36:00.002+01:00

Been listening to a lot of Belladonnakillz recently - they fucking rock

Download OPTIONSSS aplenty

2008-03-13T14:23:00.000Z

Hey peeps,

Forgot to mention - you can now download the full Meconium album from the Critical Best Last.fm page:

http://www.last.fm/music/Critical+Best/Meconium

Go there and do your dirty business

Oh, I’ll probably be putting some other bits and pieces on there, too, for your downloading / listening pleasure, as I have a few tracks kicking about which are unreleased / kind of released / won’t make the next album

And I’ve got some new ideas for a couple of tunes which I should be getting round to starting in the very near future

Laters gaters

CRUNK TECHNO

2008-03-02T16:50:00.000Z

Is 'Crunk Techno' a real genre? I propose that it is. And the main proponents of it are:

Herrmutt Lobby

edIT

Who else is there?

Blades of Nonsense

2008-02-26T14:21:00.001Z

After watching Blades of Glory the other night, my mind wandered to a spectacle I once seen. That of a man, decked out like Kurt Cobain, ice skating to the sounds of Nirvana's 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'.

Five minutes fucking around on Youtube and here it is:

Jesus

Arundel Tomb

2008-02-09T16:53:00.000Z

Hello peeps,

I've been working on a new track. You can listen to it over at the the Critical Best Myspace - http://www.myspace.com/criticalbest

It's called 'Arundel Tomb' and is based off the Philip Larkin poem 'An Arundel Tomb'

I reckon it may still need a wee bit of tweaking

Also, if I haven't mentioned before, there's another new track on there, too, called 'Trevor Brown Don't Paint My Child' (shortened to 'TBDPMC' for the Myspace player)

Enjoy

Fun with baby

2008-02-05T14:59:00.000Z

This is the best thing I ever saw:

http://www.c00lstuff.com/1133/Do_s_and_don_ts_with_babies/

Some highlights:

Head over to that site to see them all

Sickening

2008-02-04T17:06:00.000Z

Eugh

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=371620

John Travolta tells us how awesome he is, and how he was an idol of Heath Ledger's

http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news/40175/daniel-day-lewis-breaks-down-over-ledgers-death

A tearful and distraught Daniel Day Lewis tells us he's incredibly upset, and "I didn't know him. I have a strong impression I would have liked him very much as a person if I had"

Jesus fucking Christ you people are despicable

Burial - True!

2008-01-30T14:12:00.001Z

Was just speaking to a 'friend-of-a-friend' who works at *REMOVED* and he's let me in on a little secret - supposedly, universally loved dubstep producer Burial is actually Roni Size.

Odd, eh?

JOHN FUCKING RAMBO

2008-01-25T14:46:00.000Z

This is going to be the film of the year

Hahahahahahahaha

2007 Musical Roundup Type Thing

2008-01-07T13:27:00.000Z

As we reach the end of another futuristic year, it's nice to look back, and bask in the glory of music. Music released in 2007. Music released in 2007 which was enjoyed by me. To this end, I have compiled a list of sorts, illustrating music I enjoyed from the year two thousand and seven. Here it is:

2007's Best Albums

(in no particular order, except number 1)

Rotator - Choose Your Poison, Mine Is Hardcore!!!

The Tuss - Rushup Edge

Battles - Mirrored

Panda Bear - Person Pitch

Gescom - A1-D1

Wiley - Eskiboy : The Best Of Tunnel Vision

Melt Banana - Bambi's Dilemma

XXL - ¿Spicchiology?

Pluramon - The Monstrous Surplus

Mujuice - Cool Cool Death

MIA - Kala

DJ Scotch Egg - Scotchhausen

Dilithium Tourdes - The Dirty Dick Outlaw

65daysofstatic - The Destruction Of Small Ideas

Best 10 Inch

Venetian Snares - Sabbath Dubs

Great, wobbly, dub cover/remixes of classic Sabbath tracks. A pity there's only 2 tracks on here

Best 12 Inch

Various - Cross Roads EP

There's a brilliant Cakebuilder tune on this, but the standout track is Venetian Snares' totally unexpected 4 to the floor monster, "Koonut Kaliffee". It's a punishing rave bastard of a track, and shows yet another side to the man Funk. Released on Dross:tik Records, if you're looking for it

Best Compilation

Proibidao C.V - Forbidden Gang Funk from Rio De Janeiro

Mmmm, illegal Brazilian funk. Well, it's not really funk - it's gang sponsored MCs chatting over Miami bass beats. Peculiar stuff

Best Reissue

White Noise - An Electric Storm

BBC Radiophonic Workshop maven, Delia Derbyshire, and friends, show literally everyone how it's done in this stunning masterpiece of an album. Listening to it today, it's almost unthinkable that it was released in 1969

Biggest Letdown

Venetian Snares - My Downfall (Original Soundtrack)

Cheap nasty presets for the violin sounds, lacklustre breakcore, emo imagery - Snares has fucking lost it with this album. Seen by many as a follow up, and companion piece to 2005's "Rossz csillag alatt született", this fails in every single way that "Rossz..." succeeded (and I didn't even rate "Rossz...")

A Few Mentions...

Burial - Untrue

Better than last year's debut effort, but I still don't see what the fuss is all about. This is on every single fucker's album of the year list. Don't believe the hype until you've gave it a thorough listen yourself

Wu-Tang Clan - 8 Diagrams

Unexpectedly good new album from the Shaolin boys. I've not gave this a decent enough listen to include it on the proper list, though

Minimal Techno and the Kitsune / Ed Banger shit and the Nu Rave bollocks and most Dubstep...

Can all fuck right off. Well, maybe not Dubstep, but it's proliferation annoys me - you just canny get away from it

Xiu Xiu - The Air Force

Released in 2006, but only nabbed by me in 2007. More fantastic stuff from Jamie Stewart. The "Remixed and Covered" album released in 2007 was pretty decent, too. Great tracks from Kid606, Why?, Larsen, Gold Chains and many more

That's me for another year. Here's the previous lists...

2006
2005
2004
2003

Let's hope we get some good shit in 2008

MECONIUM on Scunnered Records MP3

2007-12-19T13:24:00.000Z

The lovely folks at Noise Joy have had a bit of a catastophe - everything they've ever released has disappeared from their servers. Nasty

Until they're back up and running, I've released Meconium on Scunnered Records MP3:

www.archive.org/details/CriticalBest-Meconiumscun001

Enjoy

(There's a new track on Myspace, too - www.myspace.com/criticalbest, it's called 'Trevor Brown Don't Paint My Child')

Christmas Mix

2007-12-13T10:50:00.000Z

http://www.mediafire.com/?fatjmmxx9zz

1//Kodek - You Must Think First Before You Move
2//Droon / Barndance
3//Adam Harris / Hyperspeed (Sy and Unknown Remix) + Hellfish / Pill Lesson
4//Phuq / Broken (Ruthmix)
5//LFO Demon / Classwar Dynamite
6//Ladyscraper / Turboturd!
7//Gabba Front Berlin / Speedcore Lacrima

A decidedly un-festive half hour. Enjoy

Woop de fuckin' woop

2007-11-26T17:19:00.000Z

Oh yeah, I have a Discogs page now:

http://www.discogs.com/artist/Critical+Best

Yeah

I went climbing yesterday and now these arms are dead snakes

2007-11-26T14:03:00.000Z

Hmmm, I haven't updated this in fucking ages.

I have an excuse, though - I've just moved into a lovely new flat with my awesome girlfriend, and we don't have t'internet yet, so I can't really update this page from home. And work is pretty busy, what with Xmas looming on the horizon.

I've been growing a moustache this month, along with loads of other guys around the world, to raise money for Prostate Cancer charity. I'm starting to look like a gay fisherman.

I've got 3 new tracks in the pipeline, and a kind of vague concept of things I want to do. Unlike my first album, which was just a hotch potch of all the tracks I'd done, I have a nebulous theme in mind for my next project. I want to get some cheap analogue equipment first, though, as I'm getting a bit bored of my software (and I'm too lazy to learn a couple of the new bits of software I got recently).

Wa wa waaa

All Hallow's Eve

2007-10-31T17:08:00.000Z

Happy Halloween, peeps.

For your listening pleasure, I present a 'mashup' of Gershon Kingsley & Peter Waldron and Nurse With Wound. I've taken the DJ Brokenwindow route on this, as I'm shit at mashups, and it didn't really need much tweaking to sound perfect and creepy:

Nurse With Wound - Rat Tapes (Marc'o van Bastard's Halloween Edit)

(This was originally the last track of that Zomcore podcast I done, but I figure it's spooky enough to stand alone today)

Also - what the fuck is up with the lack of pumpkins this year? I am bereft. Most annoying

Laters gaters

Laughing In The Face Of Mainstream

2007-10-28T11:36:00.000Z

The very lovely Dadaist Audio have just released their gigantic compilation Laughing In The Face Of Mainstream.

It contains 175 tracks, and over 9 hours of music, ranging from hip hop to black metal, from synthpop to harsh noise, it has everything!

And, it has a track by ME!

It's a reworked, and longer version of 'There Is Truth In Flesh And The Solid Ground', and it's only available on this compilation

You can grab it here (it's in Part 5 - Track 9):

[DADA050] Laughing In The Face Of Mainstream -- A Dadaist Audio Compilation

Please let Dadaist Audio know what you think! And let me know, if you have any thoughts on my track.

Many thanks to Chris @ Dadaist Audio for including my track, and supporting original and innovative music

Cheers

MOSHCOREFUNTRENDS

2007-10-10T14:30:00.000+01:00

Hello peeps. I have a mix for you, a breakcore mix:

http://www.mediafire.com/?bzmztrgyzv5
or
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=IUA3AGDB

1..ANONYMOUS.LY - Untitled
2..Duran Duran Duran - Ralez
3..CDATAKILL - Yesterdays (Ubergang Remix)
4..Throttler - Validation
5..DJ Floorclearer - Over The Legal Limit
6..Cakebuilder - Book of the Dead
7..Enduser - Les Dilution
8..Bong Ra - Eenzaam Sterven Wij Allen
9..ACRNYM - ASBO Selecta
10.LFO Demon - Murderstyle Remix
11.Trentmoller - Miss You
12.DJ Freak - Never Been to Brooklyn

This is the first breakcore mix I've done using my decks, so if you have any kind or nasty words, they'd be very helpful

Ta

MECONIUM on MP3

2007-09-28T09:26:00.000+01:00

Critical Best
Noise Joy
Scunnered Records

Cheers for the support, folks

MECONIUM

2007-09-15T08:47:00.000+01:00

Limited to thirty (30) copies on CD. Please give me shout if you'd like one - I'm not selling it, but I will swap it for something cool (cool as in quirky - I don't expect anything expensive as it will be available as a free MP3 download soon, if you don't manage to get a hold of one of these CDs).

Critical Best - Meconium : a 40 minute album of disintegrating technoise and lullabies, released on my very own Scunnered Records

You can hear 3 of the tracks (albeit in a slightly unfinshed form) here - www.myspace.com/criticalbest

Info on the MP3 release will be disseminated as and when

Cheers peeps

Chill the fuck out

2007-09-01T22:05:00.000+01:00

I done another mix, it's pretty chill. Download it here:

http://www.sendspace.com/file/ekaqq2

Tracks by The Tuss, Parts & Labor, Kid606, 65daysofstatic and many more

Enjoy

Behind the times with Web 2.0

2007-08-28T15:17:00.000+01:00

I finally got a Last.fm thingy. I am hopelessly behind the times. It did give me this, though, which is pretty nifty:

Yeah, Web 2.0 can suck my cock

Gutter Poetry

2007-08-26T10:58:00.000+01:00

I got a bit bored on Friday, as it was my day off, so I decided to have a play on my decks. I put together this mix:

http://www.sendspace.com/file/u6ifvv

Now, it's not beatmatched in the slightest (I've not touched the decks in about 3 months), but it is a fun collection of tunes. It's also recorded via an intricate system of tin cans and string, between the mixer and the laptop, so it's a little 'noisy'. But it's only half an hour long, so it won't fucking kill you.

Also, it's not a noisy breakcore freakout - it's quite relaxed. There's some Dextro, Cex, Herrmutt Lobby and Trentmøller on there, and some other stuff I've forgotten about

Enjoy

Beware the Pipistrelle

2007-08-26T10:48:00.000+01:00

Right, fuck it - remember my EP, Critical Best - Meconium? It's now officially an album.

Tracklisting is as follows:

1. Bha e brèagha an-de
2. There is Truth in Flesh and the Solid Ground
3. Famous Bison
4. Your Own Clockwork Christ
5. Gossum
6. Point One Four
7. Wet Bass Core
8. They Squeel
9. Fixing Windmills

It's all completely finished, and should be released within the next month, I reckon.

Formats will be:

Free MP3 download, released by Noise Joy Records
30 hand numbered CDRs, released by my very own Scunnered Records

The CDR will not really be on sale, as such. If you want one, let me know and we can come to some sort of arrangement. I'd like to swap them for cool stuff (not cool expensive stuff, as it's only a CDR [with tracks you can get for free] - but cheap, quirky stuff).

Exciting, isn't it.

(Keep checking myspace.com/criticalbest for updates)

Pictures what are good and that

2007-08-12T14:35:00.000+01:00

My old friend and confidante, Mister Andrew Hood, photographer of much renown, former Huguenot, black marketeer and swashbuckler, has just launched his portfolio website:

http://www.hoodphotography.co.uk/

Please do visit, and let his work play upon your retinas. You shall no doubt see why his work has been much lauded, and he's received a multitude of plaudits. You may also stumble upon one of the many self portraits of his cock.

Fortune favours the old

2007-08-09T16:42:00.000+01:00

Hello chaps and chapettes,

How have you been? In the interim between the last post and this, I've been to South Korea. It was fucking mental! We got to visit the DMZ, and even North Korea for a wee bit. It truly was ace.

I'll hopefully be posting some awesome photos of me and my lovely girlfriend Mo knicking about the Far East, but in the meantime I have news of a musical nature.

My EP is all but done, and has mutated to album length. Here's a sneak peek at the cover:

I'll let you know exactly when where how and why it's being released, and I'll be appearing on some compilations in the near future, too. So expect an information leaden update sometime in the very near future.

In the meantime, go to www.myspace.com/criticalbest for any crucial nuggets of shit that I may have forgotten to mention here.

Sound of Summer

2007-06-03T17:04:00.000+01:00

Years and years ago, 'Windowlicker' used to be the ideal summer tune. There's something so perfect about its sleaziness that seems to mesh with long, humid days. We used to nick about sunny Glasgow in my beat-up white Ford Escort with the windows down and RDJ's snare rushes, glitches and wonky French, pulsing out from the stereo. We thought we were the coolest fucks in Fuck Town

But time passes, and classic Aphex Twin tracks lose their lustre and charm

Trentemøller remixed it in 2004, under the name 'Run Jeremy', turning it into a finely tuned 4/4 stormer, but it was still the same basic track - glorious, yet old news

--

I used to be right into the whole 'Mashup' / 'Bootie' scene back when it first came to light. Freelance Hellraiser (when he was still underground), Frenchbloke, all that jazz. Kid606 pretty much kicked fuck out of the whole scene, with 'The Action Packed Mentalist Brings You The Fucking Jams', so I've not really been keeping an eye on, what is now, the massive collection of shit that's out there. So I can't really tell you when this hit the net:

M83 vs Aphex Twin vs Khia - Pussylicker
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=V6EQJJZ0

It's a perfect combination of 'Aphex Twin - Windowlicker (Acid Edit)', 'M83 - Run Into Flowers (Midnight Fuck Remix By Jackson)' , and 'Khia - My Neck, My Back' by some guy called Dopplebanger, and manages to somehow, be even more summery than the original, untouched 'Windowlicker'

Download it, whack it on your stereo, and sit in the back garden drinking ice cold beer while staring wistfully at the one lone cloud adorning the sky

ahh

2007-05-31T13:45:00.000+01:00

One of my earrings popped out this morning, and my clown fingers are having a cunt of a time getting it back in. Gun piercings through cartilage are a bitch

Life is cruel

myspace survey lol

2007-05-31T13:41:00.000+01:00

Canny remember where I picked this pishy Myspace survey hing, but I done it the other day out of boredom. Behold...

My Life Story

If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie

Opening Credits: Camu Tau - Plot For A Little - ok, I think this works, in a sort of 'Directed by John Singleton' way

Waking Up: The Gossip - Jealous Girls - this would work if I was a bird and the film of my life was a shitty remake of Heathers

First Day of School: Orbital - Funny Break (One is Enough) - Classic, and came out while I was still at school, so works well

Falling In Love: Shinra - Bazoo - I'm not sure if that is perfect, or so unbelievably wrong. It's an early Squarepusher-esque noisy drill & bass / breakcore tune

Fight Song: Bong Ra - 666 MPH [FFF vs Dionysos RMX] - perfect fight song, all dark mechanical breakcore, amen breaks, sub-bass and rave stabs. The fight would have to be a bloody mess, though

Breaking up: Vert - Daisy Leaps In - kind of ambient and off kilter, so could work, I suppose

Prom: The Gross Consumer - Do You Want To Share My Rash - ahahaha. This is a remix of the Road Rash theme from the old Sega Megadrive game. It's full of squelch, nasty beats and cowbell. Imagine playing that at prom, that would be ace, unless there was a subsequent rash

Life: DJ Scud - In The Charts Again - punishing beats and guitar riffs. There is a bit when it all goes a bit gabber and a Scotsman shouts 'fuck the cunts'. Make of that what you will

Mental Breakdown: The Knife - I Take Time - standard Knife track really. I could see this soundtracking a mental breakdown I suppose. They probably like the idea of that, eh?

Driving: Kimya Dawson - Blue Like Nevermind - I could imagine driving to this song. In some shitty indie pish film directed by that cunt from Scrubs, or the cocks behind Napoleon Dynamite

Flashback: Sun City Girls - Burial In The Sky - only if it's a freaky flashback. Maybe with me getting tormented by a harlequin or some shit

Getting Back together: Merzbow - Shadow Barbarian (Long Mix) - this scene would have to take place in some dingy, grimy, nightmare of a club. The sort of place where a dead horse on the dancefloor wouldn't be totally unexpected (shit - listening to this makes me realise how much Merzbow's 'dancey' stuff sounds like Zeigenbock Kopf - how the fuck?)

Wedding: Miklos "The Accountant" Kemecsi - Mal-funk - if this was the first tune played at my wedding reception, I think I'd be quite happy

Birth of Child: Squarepusher - Theme From Sprite - jazz funk elevator pish from Squarepusher. Does that fit in with child birth? Who the fuck knows? Christ Squarepusher's let himself go in the last few years

Final Battle: Slepcy - With Charles Bukowski on the Ride - this has a sort of punchy, mechanical, twisted, Amon Tobin thing going on, which could work. The final battle would have to be against maurading robots, though. Like that bit in Casshern, but slower

Death Scene: Otto von Schirach - Unknown (Venetian Snares Remix) - this could definitely be music to a 'dying after big fight with robot' scene. Melancholy breakcore with a nice sad operatic vocal at the end

End Credits: Hidden Cameras - Wandering - hahaha, another priceless moment. Gay as a big window, and perfect for end credits. I can see the names roll by now. Specifically the best boys... Maybe not for the story of my life, though

I did this properly, which is why the tune selection is pretty rubbish, and doesn't always go. It's made me realise I have some right shit on this laptop

(While looking over this, iTunes has just gone from a remix of the Axel F tune into the Dave Clarke remix of Coatnoise, so at least it's not all bad)

Laters

Breakcore, you know the score

2007-05-12T11:35:00.000+01:00

All this heavy gossamer

2007-04-22T12:27:00.000+01:00

Three years.

That's how long I've been down in London now. I wouldn't even have noticed had my mum not phoned me up on Wednesday to shout "Three years" down the line.

Jesus shitting Christ where does the time go? Well, part of me thinks that, and the other part, contradictively, feels like I've been down here forever.

I wrote this last year, but this year I feel a little bereft of wit. Maybe it's because it's a lazy Sunday in work, or maybe it's because I spunked all my good lines on last year's 'recollection'.
.
.
.
Hahahaahahah. What the fuck am I talking about? God, sometimes I need a boot right in the cock, I swear to fuck.

Right, so I've ordered the proper cables and whatnot to get my decks and my laptop speaking to each other (albeit, in not entirely dulcet tones), so expect that hacked together Zomcore mix to be the last one which is done solely on computer. Hopefully I'll have something new and blistering up soon. It won't be pretty, I can tell you that much. It will melt your fucking face off.

Alsooooo - I'm working on some new tracks, so the EP may be available soon, too. I'll probably need to sort out a better form of distribution than Myspace / Sendspace / YouSendit / Rapidshare / carrier pigeon - but I'm working on that. There may be merch, too. CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE?

I suppose you want a tracklisting, too

2007-04-10T12:46:00.000+01:00

1. D. Scott - Scarey 1 / Gershon Kingsley & Peter Waldron -
The Sound Of Bones
2. Deathmachine - User Defined
3. Venetian Snares - Tache
4. Bong-Ra - The Rush (Long Time Coming) / Bong-Ra - The Rush (Long Time Coming) [De Bastardo Remix]
5. Kid606 - Catstep My Kitten [Vatstep DSP by Hrvatski]
6. Ladyscraper - Grr Track One
7. Bong-ra Horns
8. Merzbow - Looping Jane [Beat Mix]
9. V/VM - Untitled [Death March]
10. Drop The Lime - Hot Sauce Grillz
11. Cursor Minor - Hair of the Dog
12. Gershon Kingsley & Peter Waldron - Spirits, Monsters, Witches... / Nurse With Wound - Untitled

All the cool kids have podcasts... fuckin' wanks

2007-03-31T13:54:00.000+01:00

Rapidshare link

Just a wee podcast I put together, with tracks by Merzbow, Bong-Ra, Kid606, Nurse With Wound, Ladyscraper, Venetian Snares, Deathmachine, Cursor Minor, Drop The Lime and some other bits and pieces

Enjoy!

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

2007-03-11T18:07:00.000Z

'Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo' is a grammatically correct sentence. You can either trust me, or look it up yourself, I canny be fucked explaining it here.

When I first found this out, my mind done a wee flip. I said to myself, "That's easily the most fucked up sentence you'll ever read". I've now discovered I was wrong. This fucker crept up on me today:

'John, when playing a game of Scrabble against Dick who, whilst pondering the degree of legitimacy the last word that Harry (who had had 'had') had had had had, had had 'had', had had 'had'. Had 'had' had more letters, he would have played it again'

Seriously, fuck that shit. What in the fuck? I think it's going to take me some time to wrap my head around that.

This one's quite fun, too:

'Who polices the Police? The Police Police police Police. Who polices the Police Police? The Police Police Police police Police Police'

The word 'police' has lost all meaning now

Fuck I'm bored

2006 in sound not pictures

2007-01-31T19:21:00.000Z

Sat here drinking far-too-creamy coffee and eating a macaroon bar (only us Scots could think a bar of mashed potato and icing sugar, covered in chocolate and coconut flakes could function as a ‘sweety’, and only we could be right), my mind thrums over last years album purchases. I think age has been unkind to my music acquiring habits - every year the number of shiny wrapped discs appearing fresh upon my shelves dwindles slightly. Even the illicit MP3s gumming up my hard drive aren’t increasing drastically.

So it’s with some reservation, I sit here trying to compile my ‘Best of 2006’ list. In previous years, I’ve had a fuckton of stuff to choose from, so the lists have been both lengthy and verbose. This year, it’ll be mercifully brief:

The Lackadaisically Named -

'Top Albums of 2006'

(In no real order)

1. Trentemøller – Last Resort

2. Razor X Productions (The Bug vs. The Rootsman) – Killing Sound

3. Kid 606 – Pretty Girls Make Raves

4. Guilty Connector – Beats, Noise, and Life

5. Venetian Snares – Cavalcade of Glee and Dadaist Happy Hardcore Pom Poms

6. Amen Andrews vs. Spac Hand Luke – Amen Andrews vs. Spac Hand Luke

7. B.Fleischmann – The Humbucking Coil

8. Doddodo – Sample Bitch Story

9. Cex – Actual Fucking

10. My Latest Novel – Wolves

11. The Knife – Silent Shout

12. Knifehandchop – Bling The Noize

13. Battles – EP C/B EP

14. Paavoharju– Yha Hamaraa

15. Junior Boys – So This Is Goodbye

Other stuff to mention:

Burial – Burial : I’m finding all this Hyperdub and dubstep malarkey a bit boring. Nice to put on in the background, while doing a bit of reading, but undeserving of the hype. Give me a nice slice of raggacore or something; something to get my teeth into

Bong-Ra – Stereohype Heroin Hooker : This right here is an EP, so I'd feel a bit cheeky putting it on the list. Bong-Ra is a fucking breakcore god. Everything he touches turns to nasty, twisted, Amen Break-flecked gold. He’s playing at Bangface this month, with Kid 606, Plaid, The Bug, Enduser and some other lovely folks. A night like that will melt your fucking face off

Venetian Snares – Hospitality : Another EP. Nice and melodic, chirpy breakcore, more in the vein of Cavalcade of Glee and Chocolate Wheelchair, than the orchestral epicness of Rossz Csillag Allat Szuletett or the demented depression of Winter in the Belly of a Snake. How in fuck is Aaron Funk is still churning them out? I should start a pool on how much material he'll release this year

Tim Exile – Tim Exile's Nuisance Gabbaret Lounge : This bad boy is a mix CD, so, again, I exclude it from the list to keep within my own esoteric 'rules'. Two great breakcore mixes, recorded live over two club nights somewhere. It's not just your standard 'faceless prick behind some laptops' affair that a good chunk of electronic musicians seem to adore peddling. Oh no. This is a good natured, high energy, motherfuckin' dance party. In between harsh beats and walls of sound, he samples (and fucks about with) his own voice and the reaction of the crowd, and still finds time to take requests. CDs like this remind me why I love this music so much. It's a world away from the stone-faced, 'cooler-than-thou' attitude of the vast majority of the rest of the electronic and noise scenes. Fuck the posturing - HAVE SOME FUCKING FUN

Gonzales – Solo Piano : Released in 2004, I think, so not on the list. God – how did it take me so long to pick this up? The lanky electro-funk-hip-hop mongoloid pulls out the unexpected – a beautiful, haunting collection of solo piano pieces. Stunning

Venetian Snares vs Bong-Ra – 4 Adaptations of Rossz Csillag Allat Szuletett : Hahaha, who would have thought that putting Bong-Ra and VSnares together could make such sweet music. Cinematic, and jazzy in places. This wee gem was totally unexpected

Well – that’s enough from me, I reckon.

I can recommend you some further reading (if you fancy subjecting yourself to more of my witless shite) - here's the lists from the last few years:

2005
2004
2003

That's yer lot for now

Max Headroom will fuck your shit up

2007-01-20T16:07:00.000Z

On Sunday 22nd 1987, at 23:15 Chicago cable network WTTW had its signal hijacked, during an episode of Doctor Who.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it was probably some wiley environmentalists wanting to protest about some fucking seals or something. You're wrong though.

Someone (who has, in fact, never been caught) went to the supreme effort of criminally hijacking a major cable network's signal to broadcast one of the most fucked up and bizarre things you'll ever see.

Remember 80s TV weirdo Max Headroom? I don't think he was ever on TV here, but through some sort of pop culture osmosis I have vivid memories of his stupid cubist face, so I'm assuming you do, too. Well, this merry media terrorist nabbed a Max Headroom mask, mocked up a background and proceeded to broadcast himself talking utter shite. Creepy shite. Oh, and he gets spanked at the end, too.

There's something so very, very wrong about all of this:

I'd have been 7 when this was broadcast. And if I was sitting watching Doctor Who, and was suddenly faced with it, I'd have freaked the fuck out. Christ, Zelda from Terrahawks used to terrify me, this'd have caused me to shit my chinos.

After getting over the creepiness, I got a little maudlin. I find it sad, that in this age of hi-tech digital transmission, it'd be almost impossible to pull off this sort of broadcast signal intrusion.

Hmm, I wonder if I can surreptitiously Bluetooth fucked up videos to strangers on the tube...

Critical Motherfuckin' Best

2006-11-06T22:48:00.000Z

I've been making music under the name Critical Best for just over six months now. It's good fun, though I've kind of hit an impasse. I've switched software recently, and it's kind of fucked up my creativity (OH the humanity). Hopefully the frosty winter months will inspire me.

Well, they fuckin' better - I'm working towards a decent and cogent EP, good to go by the start of the new year. It'll be available for free ('cos really, you wouldn't fucking pay for it, would you?) from this here blog, and a few other select places.

Enough of my nonsense, what I really wanna talk about is 'Lovely Girls', a hypnotic, disentegrating piece that I made ages ago, but didn't upload to my Myspace, for some reason. Here it is, for your listening and/or downloading pleasure:

If you like it, or if you don't, let me know. Either here or on the dreaded MYSPACE

Luv + hugz

GRINDHOUSE70O

2006-11-06T22:42:00.000Z

Meant to post this a while ago..

Tarantino and Rodriguez's homage to grindhouse classics is out next year. It looks fucking awesome.

Trailer is here - http://www.themoviebox.net/movies/2007/DEFGH/
Grindhouse/trailer.php

And here's some natty posters (click for huge):

Enjoy

Postal

2006-09-17T13:23:00.000+01:00

I think my postman is stealing my fucking mail. Just mine, mind, and not my flatmate's. The bastard.

When I got paid last month, I ordered quite a bit of shit from various sites, which arrived in dribs and drabs. Well, most of it. I'm still waiting for some CDs and t-shirts nearly a month later.

I get all my fucking bills and that, all the bumph, but I'm still missing some pretty expensive items. I haven't really seen what the postman looks like, recently - maybe he's changed and we've got some shifty criminal.

I don't have a webcam or anything to set up, so I may have to wait until I'm off work on Tuesday to peer out the spy hole. I can spot the awkward gait of a lifelong lawbreaker from twenty paces. Fucker

In other news - there's a couple of new shirts over at essenem.co.uk, with a couple more in a few days, hopefully. We're actually selling some, which is lovely, and we might be getting some press coverage. If only I had time and talent to design a better looking site. Boo hoo.

Oh, there's a Myspace, too. There's gotta be in this fucking day and age - http://www.myspace.com/essenemclothing

MARGE YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART

2006-08-08T11:41:00.000+01:00

Words....words fail me...

Oh yeah - hi everyone. Long time no see. I'm off to Morrocco tomorrow, but when I come back, I'm going to be all over this fucking internet like a cheap suite.

Laters

An auditory experience lacking musical quality

2006-06-02T15:09:00.000+01:00

Hello again peeps. I've been neglecting this site like a motherfucker, and I have no one to blame but myself.

The T-shirt site should be getting a thorough revamp, soon, as we're getting to grips more and more with the wonderful world of E-COMMERCE, but that's not the main reason I've been slacking. Most of my free time on the laptop has been spent fucking about with music software, recently, and so I've done what any self respecting amateur noise maker would do in this day and age.

MYSPACE FUCKING MUSIC PAGE - http://www.myspace.com/criticalbest

Yes, I know - save me the abuse. Nothing on there is completely finished, and I'm not claiming to be the next Merzbow or anything, but it's good for a laugh.

Who knows, if I get my CSS shit together, there's a good chance I can integrate all this frippery together into one big happy funtime megapage.

Hip Hop Is Not A Spectator Sport

2006-05-11T15:05:00.000+01:00

Many moons ago, before getting caught up in the soul sucking machine that is professional television, I was a carefree youth stumbling through college with a series of ramshackle programmes (or shall we call them 'short films'?). The last of these, being a hip-hop documentary entitled Hip Hop Is Not A Spectator Sport.

It's far from a masterpiece, as the drunken organising of a documentary is not a good idea. There's quite a few technical errors, too; some poor white balancing; a load of cheesy moments; and, some frankly laughable graphics, but it was all good fun, and got me my HND at college.

I managed to digitise it some time ago (albeit from a shonky VHS copy), but had never got round to actually doing anything with it. So, without further ado, I present it to you now:

[ Youtube Video removed,

gie's a shout if you want to see it ]

I've got some more of my shit kicking around somewhere which you may or may not be subjected to in the future

Shifty eyed goddamn liar

2006-04-21T15:30:00.000+01:00

Two years today I moved to London. How fucking bizarre is that? Imagine me, turning up at the airport, fresh faced and full of wonder. No idea what the fuck I was doing. I remember my first few weeks - I was fuckin' terrified. Glasgow's a reasonable sized city, but it can't prepare you for the enormity of London. 'Thrown in at the deep end' doesn't even begin to describe it.

But that's always the best way to teach a drunken baby to swim. Look at me now. Haggard. Cynical. Sporting a beard and dressing like a homosexual. Talking about house prices and congestion charges and production houses in Soho. I don't bat an eyelid when I pay 4 quid for a pint in some faux trendy wankhole in Hoxton. I don't bat an eyelid when I careen down the wrong stairs in some grubby tube station, fighting against the tide, knocking some pregnant banker down, clattering onto the platform. Just to shave 15 seconds off my commute. I have never earned so much money, nor been so skint in my life.

And I fucking love it.

COVER YOUR SHAME

2006-04-04T14:48:00.000+01:00

WWW.ESSENEM.CO.UK GOES LIVE

Hello peeps. After 6 months of drunken fuckery, the t-shirt site is finally up. Go and have a look, and if you see any shirts you like, for fuck's sake BUY THEM.

Conversely, if you see a design you like, but we don't have the particular syle or colour you want, let me know and I'll rectify the situation.

Here's a small selection from the site:

TELL YOUR FRIENDS

www.essenem.co.uk

marc(AT)essenem.co.uk

Don't mess with me, lady, I've been drinking with skeletons

2006-03-29T17:21:00.000+01:00

Fuck me, I am useless. What with having a full time job, making music, designing t-shirts for the site, working on a treatment for a short film and being a raging drunkard, I just haven't had time to talk shite on here that nobody wants to hear. Poor you.

I am sitting here eating a Twix, and it's been in the fridge. I think I've broken my fucking teeth chewing through the toffee bit - it was rock solid. Bastards.

My nonce-ear (as Craig so lovingly put it) is pretty much gone. I filled it full of far too much Otex and went to a 65daysofstatic concert. That fucked up the wax good and proper. I swear to God, you have to invest in some Otex. It's expensive (~£8 for a wee bottle), but it is most definately the shit.

T-shirt site should go live at the end of the week - expect me to plug the shit out of it.

Byeeee

Corn Beef

2006-03-05T13:55:00.000Z

I awoke at around midnight on Monday in screaming fucking agony. I hate ear infections, and have not had the displeasure of one for quite a number of years. After a rather brisk 2 hours at Accident & Emergency I was furnished with ear drops and some nifty codeine tablets for the pain, tablets that ensured the week at work stumbled by like a drunken hobo.

The infection itself is pretty much gone now, but as I sit here bored shitless in work, I am deaf as a fucking post in my left ear. This is a further annoyance, as I've come to realise that my left ear is my good ear, so basically, I can't hear shit.

Everything I am somehow able to hear sounds as if it's underwater, due to gunk and shit floating around in my ear canal, but I don't know if I have the time or patience for another trip to A&E for a syringing. My flatmates have that Audiclean stuff, so I may give that a shot.

And why should you give a fuck about my ears? Well, I was going to write about my brand new, super awesome funtime happy box that has just arrived in the post - My FM3 Buddha Machine:

It's a cool wee box that plays 9 different loops, and from what I've heard, is lovely and soothing. Obviously I'll need working ears before I can give a decent view on the thing.

Fuckin' ears

Motherfuckin' bird flu

2006-02-21T13:29:00.000Z

I bought my first CD of the year on Friday night. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, I've usually bought a fuckton of albums by now. It's not even like I'm downloading a lot of shit from Soulseek, I'm just being generally shit when it comes to music.

But yeah - I bought my first CD of the year on Friday night. It was an Ove Naxx tour CD, bought from the man himself at esteemed breakcore night Trash Trash Noise Next Door. It was fucking bedlam. Ove was so stoned when he got up on stage he fell over and broke his microphone. And DJ Scotchegg had 4 Gameboys on the go at one point. Good fun.

I will have to buy some music now.

Mogwai - Mr Beast,
Liars - Drums Not Dead,
B.Fleischmann - The Humbucking Coil
Battles - Ep C/B Ep
65daysofstatic - Radio Protector EP

Yeah that'll do for now.

The t-shirt site I've mentioned a few times will be up and running very very soon, I'll keep y'all posted.

Laters

2005 - That was the year that was

2006-01-30T21:58:00.000Z

I had to go and get a blood test done, what was it... last Thursday. Now, I watched the guy do it, and he seemed to know what the fuck he was doing, and it didn't hurt (it looks cool as fuck when the vacuum in the vial kicks in and it whips the blood right out of your vein), but I've ended up with a massive fucking bloody-yellow bruise on my left arm. It's actually impinging on my fucking tattoo.

It looks like I've had part of a junkie-biker-whore's arm grafted onto mine. I can see people look at it in work, too. Whatever must they think? Fun fun fun. Really though, he made a right fuckin' meal of it. Hopefully, it'll fade in the next, oh... week or some shit.

Anyways, back to the task at hand. Last year I decided to have a little fun with my calendar. Each day, when the day was done, I wrote one, two or three words down to describe each day. Some days were cryptic, others were blatant. I honestly didn't think I'd keep it up for the whole year. But I did. And what do you do with all that data? Well, if you're me, you put it into an Excel spreadsheet, allocate each day a rating between 0 and 13, then you graph the fuck out of that motherfucker.

Here's the raw as fuck data, untouched and graphed:

As you can see, it's pretty much all over the shop. That blue line is the general trend, but it doesn't give the full picture. I had to do some fucking ninja shit on the data to get an awesome graph. And here it is, my overall happiness throughout 2005, month by month:

So that was 2005.

Shit man, I need a new fucking hobby.

And now for something completely different

2006-01-23T22:52:00.000Z

I don't think this site was primarily designed for this sort of shit, but...well...here:

--Bombay Bullion
--Saucy Nurse
--YAMS
--Lollipop Man
--Project Mayhem

Sorry for the appalling lack of humour (not to mention words) in this update. I'm a tired panda