Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Deep in the juju, I was chasing the train

'Come with us now on a journey through time and space'



Alright you worthless motherfuckers, I'm betting you wouldn't know decent comedy if belted you round the chops with a live baby, then proceeded to shit on your shoes. Which is why you should care that The Mighty Boosh is back on the BBC next week. It's fucking awesome, and should be watched by everyone. EVERY-FUCKING-ONE.

The lovely, lovely people at the BBC have provided a live stream of the first episode, "Call of the Yeti", which you can watch by clicking right here. I'm not totally sure if you can view it outside the UK, so feel free to berate me for giving you false hope.

Enjoy

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

No service on the Circle Line

Yeah, bits of London may have been blown the fuck up, but it's very much business as usual, which is pretty cool. Other than a couple of extra Polis at the Tube stations and the odd controlled detonation of a suspect package outside my work (and other people's, presumably), everyone is pretty much going about there lives as normal. It's all gravy.

And am I the only person who thought of Monkey Dust when they heard the identities of the suicide bombers this morning? Good English boys, born here and into cricket, football, booze, Chicken McNuggets, kissing girls, and all that jazz.

'We shall call a Jihad, on the Birmingham City Council.  How dare they demand £90 for parking on double yellow lines'


"This Wednesday, death and destruction will rain upon your heads...."

"Eh, our Shafiq, we can't do Wednesday, it's West Brom versus Villa on pay-per-view!"

"....This Thursday...."

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

"There is a clause in all of my contracts, that my liver is to be buried seperately, and with full military honours"

After finally kicking the balls off GTA:San Andreas the other week, my wee dinky PS2 has been deathly quiet. I'm not a total game addict or anything, but it's nice to be in the middle of a game, to be able to waste away a couple of hours bashing buttons and hitting hookers with a spade. Thanks to my wee bro' I've discovered that the mighty mighty Rockstar are due to bring out a PS2 version of my all time favourite 70's gang film, The Warriors. Click that to view the trailer, it looks fucking fantastic. It's out in Rocktober, the month of my birth - I think I'll ask Mummy and Daddy dearest for it, all nicely wrapped in Scooby Doo paper.

I mentioned Rubber Johnny in my last post. Well, if you are too fucking cheap to buy the DVD, you can click this link to view it on t'internet. Enjoy.

I'm off out tonight to a pub quiz at the AKA Bar. We fucking won it last month, by some bizarre drunken luck. £100 bar tab we won, and we fucking hammered half of it in about 30 minutes. We're defending our title this time (as well as caning the rest of the bar tab), if only so we can hear the name 'Cartoon Sex Clowns' called out over the speakers again. Send some cocking luck my way, bawchops.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

I'd like to volunteer to be in charge of booby traps

Wales was absolutely fuckin' mental. There's something glorious about being stuck in the middle in the middle of nowhere with tonnes of drink, drugs and headcases. Far too many people were taking their lives into their own, rather shaky, hands and doing all sorts of wacky shit. Explosive rockets, unicycling down treacherous hills, Super Soakers filled with paraffin (ok, that's a lie, even in our state we knew this was a bad idea), Mushroom tea, stunning sunshine, cows, dogs and enough Grolsch to take down George Best and his army of livers - it was all good fun. I've been back for quite some time, and I still don't feel like I've recovered.

I've been haemorrhaging money recently - as well as the usual 'social expenditure', Futurama Series 3, Jim Jarmusch's 'Coffee & Cigarettes' and Chris Cunningham's (slightly disappointing new short) 'Rubber Johnny' have just crashed through my letterbox and two seconds ago I ordered a suave new Zippo from eBay.

I don't even fucking smoke.