Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Sweet Zombie Jesus

To celebrate Jesus rising from the grave to feed on the blood of the living, I ended up going to Transmission at the Alexandria Palace in North London. It's a behemoth of a place, perched atop a hill overlooking London. Majestic is probably a pretty good word to describe it.Oh yes, WE ARE FUCKIN' COOL I'm too young to have gone to any proper old skool raves, so it turned out to be quite a mad experience - 10,000 fucked up gurners bouncing away with whistles, white gloves, glow sticks, horns, etcetera in a listed building, it's a cool way to spend a balmy spring evening. It'd been ages since I'd had a good dance, too. There's actual mobile phone footage of me in action, which is bound to be a laugh now the weekend has worn off.

In other news - I got one fucking paltry easter egg. And it was hollow, as usual. Imagine an easter egg that was like a Creme Egg, filled with sugary albumin and yolk - that'd fuck you with diabetes before you even got halfway through. That's the motherfucker I want to get my hands on.

My CDs arrived the other day, though I've only had a chance to listen to 65 Days of Static. Fuck me it's awesome - like Mogwai only a bit more immediate, and a bit more electronic. Rather than listen to the other new stuff, I decided to listen to the little fucking rabbit in my head instead - he told me to order Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake It's Morning, Bright Eyes - Digital Ash in a Digital Urn and Modey Lemon - Thunder and Lightning. I suppose the little cunt has a point, I really canny believe I don't own them yet.

Remember - remove the head or destroy the brain.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Future Elbow Fortress

Jesus titty-fucking Christ, I'm getting a bit lackadaisical about updating this Blog (are you supposed to capitalise it?), aren't I?

Due to my poor showing last year, in regards to CD buying, and consumerism in general - I've decided to go batshit crazy this year and put any money concerns to the back of my capacious mind. To this end, I've been buying a fuck-tonne of CDs. The best finds of the year so far have been:

Death From Above 1979 - You're a Woman I'm a Machine
This is heavy as fuck and makes you want to dance about like a loon. I think they are being hyped to fuck, but this is one band that deserves it.

Duran Duran Duran - Very Pleasure
With artwork that can only be described as 'GAY', the look of this CD may put some people off. Fuckwits! This is an amazing masterpiece of an album (the first to be released on Jason Forrest's CockRockDisco label), full of jackhammering breakcore, 80's synths and Amen breaks.

ADAADAT - Trade & Distribution Almanac Volume 2
I swear to God I'm in love with this label. At only £7.49 there is no excuse not to buy this CD. Buy it.

I've just ordered some CDs from my ever growing list of shit that I must buy ('possessions define who I am') - 65 Days of Static - Full of Math, Hrvatski - Irrevocably Overdriven Break Freakout Megamix and Romvelope - One Course Meal.

Hopefully they'll come sailing through my letterbox quickstyle.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

People who update their website frequently aren't having sex

So yeah, Nathan Barley's been getting much better after a lacklustre start. I've actually been 'Laughing Out Loud' at bits of it. Be sure to watch the new one this Friday - it's the most like the 'Cunt' strip on TVGoHome so far. There are a coupla harsh as fuck bits.

At breakneck speed he downs 10 pints of bitter, bet you didn't know that


Anyways, I went to see Roots Manuva at the Brixton CARLING(TM) Academy on Friday night - he fucking rocked. When he done Witness, the place almost came. There was a guy standing next to us, skinning up, and one of the girls I was with said she was gonna try and get a draw. It was only when he sparked it that we realised he had crumbled crack into it. Oh Brixton, you are incorrigible.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

All Yesterday's Parties

Within about an hour of my mates arriving in London we were fucked. God knows how I survived living up in Glasgow (ok, so it gave me an ulcer, but that's neither here nor there). We pretty much tore shit up in London town for a couple of days, and before I knew it I had my hands on a spare ticket for All Tomorrow's Parties, and was on a train to Camber Sands. Saying it was a 'bit cold' when we got there is like saying 4 guys fucking is a 'bit gay', but after braving the temperatures and getting all our shit (including a Slint goody bag, wooo) we finally got into our chalet. That poor chalet, we were only in it about 15 minutes before it looked like Hiroshima, post bomb.

Anyways, Friday night was awesome - I remember being terminally drunk while taking in Deerhoof, no thanks to the busload of spastics (and single darling) they had manning the bar, but the rest of the night was, understandably, a blur.

Rather than waffling on, I'll just outline some of my favourite shit:

-Mogwai. Goddammit they blew me away. I've seen them before but this time they were something else. They played a couple of awesome new songs, dragged Aidan Moffat up for a wee sing song and closed the set with a stunning rendition of 'Like Herod'. My ears are literally still ringing.

-Although it was unbearably cold at times, it was fun just bouncing about, enjoying the atmosphere. Wandering round the site, drunkenly banging on chalet doors was ace - it was one of the many ways I ended up talking to much random headcases.

-Being drunk for an entire weekend! I mean, how debauched is it to have pretty much 24 hour drinking available? Not that I've never spent a whole weekend off my rocker, but it was great doing it in such a cool place.

-Seeing Slint. Although I'm not a massive fan, they were pretty damn good, and their programmed TV channel in the chalet was good fun.

-Love as Laughter were a nice surprise. I think I've heard some bits and bobs from them through various mates, but never really took notice. I reckon I'll have to nab some of their stuff now, after a rousing live performance.

-Neil Hamburger (off the wall comedian) said some of the harshest statements I've ever heard. It was a great way to start the Sunday. Some of his best jokes being - "What do you get if you cross Elton John with a puma. I don't know, but keep it away from your ass.", and "What's the difference between a porcupine and Courtney Love? If a porcupine pricks you with one of its needles you won't get HIV." Classy.

-Badges, tonnes of them! I have more Slint badges than one man could ever need!

-Sitting listening to Matmos while chatting up a couple of randoms. It just seemed.....so right.

-Seeing my mate Stewart bouncing about giving out copies of his (now award winning!) Beard Magazine. He was like a giddy schoolkid. I think even Dave Pajo got one. Oh, and the wee bastard got an interview with Mogwai!

The only bad things were:

-Forgetting to go on the Go-Karts

-Having to leave early and thus missing Sons and Daughters (who were a late replacement for Mark Kozelek, who had stubbed his toe or something). They are one of my favourite up and coming bands, and I really wanted to see them again. I was very close to just ignoring work on Monday morning, but sense preavailed. My mates inform me they were perfect on stage. Grrrrr.

-Having to miss most of Early Man, due to having to go on a dope run. They looked like they were gonna fucking rock.

-The sparseness of the bands - When looking at previous year's lineups, you see far more artists. Only about 4 of the shows have really burned themselves onto my mind permanantly. I imagine it's so everybody could get to see all the bands, but it did cause a nightmare trying to move around the place. And why stick Mogwai on at that time in the afternoon? Even they made a comment about it.

-The Red Nails. They were shit.

All in all, it was one of the most enjoyable musical experiences of my life. My body is still paying for it (not to mention my wallet, damn desirable Rock Action t-shirts), but it was worth it. I'd love to go to the Vincent Gallo curated one in April, but I doubt it'll happen. So, next year then.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Yams Yams Yams

A T mutha fuckin' P

Expect an update on All Tomorrow's Parties.....just as soon as this brain of mine starts working properly again. What a fucking week I've had - get a visit from the boys, end up in Camber Sands. Yes, it all makes sense really.

Oh, and it seems like Nathan Barley ain't too bad. I caught episode 3 last night, and found it to be quite amusing. No where near as brutal as Ideal was, though. Fucking harsh.

'Butter me up baby, I'm ready for my close up'