2006 in sound not pictures

Sat here drinking far-too-creamy coffee and eating a macaroon bar (only us Scots could think a bar of mashed potato and icing sugar, covered in chocolate and coconut flakes could function as a ‘sweety’, and only we could be right), my mind thrums over last years album purchases. I think age has been unkind to my music acquiring habits - every year the number of shiny wrapped discs appearing fresh upon my shelves dwindles slightly. Even the illicit MP3s gumming up my hard drive aren’t increasing drastically.

So it’s with some reservation, I sit here trying to compile my ‘Best of 2006’ list. In previous years, I’ve had a fuckton of stuff to choose from, so the lists have been both lengthy and verbose. This year, it’ll be mercifully brief:

The Lackadaisically Named -

'Top Albums of 2006'

(In no real order)

1. Trentemøller – Last Resort

2. Razor X Productions (The Bug vs. The Rootsman) – Killing Sound

3. Kid 606 – Pretty Girls Make Raves

4. Guilty Connector – Beats, Noise, and Life

5. Venetian Snares – Cavalcade of Glee and Dadaist Happy Hardcore Pom Poms

6. Amen Andrews vs. Spac Hand Luke – Amen Andrews vs. Spac Hand Luke

7. B.Fleischmann – The Humbucking Coil

8. Doddodo – Sample Bitch Story

9. Cex – Actual Fucking

10. My Latest Novel – Wolves

11. The Knife – Silent Shout

12. Knifehandchop – Bling The Noize

13. Battles – EP C/B EP

14. Paavoharju– Yha Hamaraa

15. Junior Boys – So This Is Goodbye

Other stuff to mention:

• Burial – Burial : I’m finding all this Hyperdub and dubstep malarkey a bit boring. Nice to put on in the background, while doing a bit of reading, but undeserving of the hype. Give me a nice slice of raggacore or something; something to get my teeth into

• Bong-Ra – Stereohype Heroin Hooker : This right here is an EP, so I'd feel a bit cheeky putting it on the list. Bong-Ra is a fucking breakcore god. Everything he touches turns to nasty, twisted, Amen Break-flecked gold. He’s playing at Bangface this month, with Kid 606, Plaid, The Bug, Enduser and some other lovely folks. A night like that will melt your fucking face off

• Venetian Snares – Hospitality : Another EP. Nice and melodic, chirpy breakcore, more in the vein of Cavalcade of Glee and Chocolate Wheelchair, than the orchestral epicness of Rossz Csillag Allat Szuletett or the demented depression of Winter in the Belly of a Snake. How in fuck is Aaron Funk is still churning them out? I should start a pool on how much material he'll release this year

• Tim Exile – Tim Exile's Nuisance Gabbaret Lounge : This bad boy is a mix CD, so, again, I exclude it from the list to keep within my own esoteric 'rules'. Two great breakcore mixes, recorded live over two club nights somewhere. It's not just your standard 'faceless prick behind some laptops' affair that a good chunk of electronic musicians seem to adore peddling. Oh no. This is a good natured, high energy, motherfuckin' dance party. In between harsh beats and walls of sound, he samples (and fucks about with) his own voice and the reaction of the crowd, and still finds time to take requests. CDs like this remind me why I love this music so much. It's a world away from the stone-faced, 'cooler-than-thou' attitude of the vast majority of the rest of the electronic and noise scenes. Fuck the posturing - HAVE SOME FUCKING FUN

• Gonzales – Solo Piano : Released in 2004, I think, so not on the list. God – how did it take me so long to pick this up? The lanky electro-funk-hip-hop mongoloid pulls out the unexpected – a beautiful, haunting collection of solo piano pieces. Stunning

• Venetian Snares vs Bong-Ra – 4 Adaptations of Rossz Csillag Allat Szuletett : Hahaha, who would have thought that putting Bong-Ra and VSnares together could make such sweet music. Cinematic, and jazzy in places. This wee gem was totally unexpected

Well – that’s enough from me, I reckon.

I can recommend you some further reading (if you fancy subjecting yourself to more of my witless shite) - here's the lists from the last few years:

2005
2004
2003

That's yer lot for now

Max Headroom will fuck your shit up

On Sunday 22nd 1987, at 23:15 Chicago cable network WTTW had its signal hijacked, during an episode of Doctor Who.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it was probably some wiley environmentalists wanting to protest about some fucking seals or something. You're wrong though.

Someone (who has, in fact, never been caught) went to the supreme effort of criminally hijacking a major cable network's signal to broadcast one of the most fucked up and bizarre things you'll ever see.

Remember 80s TV weirdo Max Headroom? I don't think he was ever on TV here, but through some sort of pop culture osmosis I have vivid memories of his stupid cubist face, so I'm assuming you do, too. Well, this merry media terrorist nabbed a Max Headroom mask, mocked up a background and proceeded to broadcast himself talking utter shite. Creepy shite. Oh, and he gets spanked at the end, too.

There's something so very, very wrong about all of this:


I'd have been 7 when this was broadcast. And if I was sitting watching Doctor Who, and was suddenly faced with it, I'd have freaked the fuck out. Christ, Zelda from Terrahawks used to terrify me, this'd have caused me to shit my chinos.

After getting over the creepiness, I got a little maudlin. I find it sad, that in this age of hi-tech digital transmission, it'd be almost impossible to pull off this sort of broadcast signal intrusion.

Hmm, I wonder if I can surreptitiously Bluetooth fucked up videos to strangers on the tube...