ahh

One of my earrings popped out this morning, and my clown fingers are having a cunt of a time getting it back in. Gun piercings through cartilage are a bitch

Life is cruel

myspace survey lol

Canny remember where I picked this pishy Myspace survey hing, but I done it the other day out of boredom. Behold...

My Life Story

If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie

Opening Credits: Camu Tau - Plot For A Little - ok, I think this works, in a sort of 'Directed by John Singleton' way

Waking Up: The Gossip - Jealous Girls - this would work if I was a bird and the film of my life was a shitty remake of Heathers

First Day of School: Orbital - Funny Break (One is Enough) - Classic, and came out while I was still at school, so works well

Falling In Love: Shinra - Bazoo - I'm not sure if that is perfect, or so unbelievably wrong. It's an early Squarepusher-esque noisy drill & bass / breakcore tune

Fight Song: Bong Ra - 666 MPH [FFF vs Dionysos RMX] - perfect fight song, all dark mechanical breakcore, amen breaks, sub-bass and rave stabs. The fight would have to be a bloody mess, though

Breaking up: Vert - Daisy Leaps In - kind of ambient and off kilter, so could work, I suppose

Prom: The Gross Consumer - Do You Want To Share My Rash - ahahaha. This is a remix of the Road Rash theme from the old Sega Megadrive game. It's full of squelch, nasty beats and cowbell. Imagine playing that at prom, that would be ace, unless there was a subsequent rash

Life: DJ Scud - In The Charts Again - punishing beats and guitar riffs. There is a bit when it all goes a bit gabber and a Scotsman shouts 'fuck the cunts'. Make of that what you will

Mental Breakdown: The Knife - I Take Time - standard Knife track really. I could see this soundtracking a mental breakdown I suppose. They probably like the idea of that, eh?

Driving: Kimya Dawson - Blue Like Nevermind - I could imagine driving to this song. In some shitty indie pish film directed by that cunt from Scrubs, or the cocks behind Napoleon Dynamite

Flashback: Sun City Girls - Burial In The Sky - only if it's a freaky flashback. Maybe with me getting tormented by a harlequin or some shit

Getting Back together: Merzbow - Shadow Barbarian (Long Mix) - this scene would have to take place in some dingy, grimy, nightmare of a club. The sort of place where a dead horse on the dancefloor wouldn't be totally unexpected (shit - listening to this makes me realise how much Merzbow's 'dancey' stuff sounds like Zeigenbock Kopf - how the fuck?)

Wedding: Miklos "The Accountant" Kemecsi - Mal-funk - if this was the first tune played at my wedding reception, I think I'd be quite happy

Birth of Child: Squarepusher - Theme From Sprite - jazz funk elevator pish from Squarepusher. Does that fit in with child birth? Who the fuck knows? Christ Squarepusher's let himself go in the last few years

Final Battle: Slepcy - With Charles Bukowski on the Ride - this has a sort of punchy, mechanical, twisted, Amon Tobin thing going on, which could work. The final battle would have to be against maurading robots, though. Like that bit in Casshern, but slower

Death Scene: Otto von Schirach - Unknown (Venetian Snares Remix) - this could definitely be music to a 'dying after big fight with robot' scene. Melancholy breakcore with a nice sad operatic vocal at the end

End Credits: Hidden Cameras - Wandering - hahaha, another priceless moment. Gay as a big window, and perfect for end credits. I can see the names roll by now. Specifically the best boys... Maybe not for the story of my life, though

I did this properly, which is why the tune selection is pretty rubbish, and doesn't always go. It's made me realise I have some right shit on this laptop

(While looking over this, iTunes has just gone from a remix of the Axel F tune into the Dave Clarke remix of Coatnoise, so at least it's not all bad)

Laters

Breakcore, you know the score